MMDA’s New Wheelchair Ramp: Extreme Sports Edition

By Louis ‘Barok‘ C. Biraogo

Greetings from the wacky world of Manila, where the city planners seem to have graduated from the same school of design that brought us the infamous Escher staircases. Yes, folks, the MMDA (Metropolitan Manila Development Authority) is at it again, this time with a wheelchair ramp that appears to be more suited for extreme sports than for its intended users.

Let’s break down this latest masterpiece. The ramp, which connects a footbridge at an Edsa busway station, is temporarily closed for “improvements.” According to the MMDA, they’re planning to install a wheelchair platform or lift, which may take one to two months. In the meantime, individuals with disabilities will have to use the stairs. Because, you know, stairs are super convenient for people in wheelchairs.

Acting MMDA chairman Don Artes assures us that the ramp isn’t actually as steep as it looks. He blames the viral photo angle, suggesting it made the ramp appear like a giant slide. Ah, yes, the ol’ “camera angle” excuse. I can imagine the photographer now, crouching down at just the right angle to make the ramp look like something out of a Looney Tunes cartoon.

Imagine explaining this to a person in a wheelchair: “Don’t worry, it just looks like you’re about to plummet down a death slide. From another angle, it’s totally fine! Just take our word for it!”

One viral video shows a man in a wheelchair attempting to descend the ramp backward, clutching the rails for dear life, with a companion helping him. If that’s not the epitome of user-friendly design, I don’t know what is. It’s like a trust exercise but with actual potential for bodily harm.

But wait, there’s more! The contractor, bless their heart, has pledged to install the alternative platform or lift for free. Yes, free! This means the government won’t incur any expenses. They’re practically saying, “Hey, we messed up big time, but at least you won’t have to pay for us to fix it!” Talk about a silver lining.

Let’s not forget the MMDA’s previous hit, the elevated Edsa-Kamuning footbridge, which was also deemed too high and steep. Their defense? It was to curb jaywalking. Because nothing says pedestrian safety like scaling Mount Everest to cross the street.

Funny Recommendations:

Install a Zip Line: Why not make the best of a bad situation? A zip line from the top of the ramp to the bottom would not only be fun but could also potentially solve the problem of descending. Sure, it might be a little fast, but at least it’s direct!
Ramp Roller Coaster: If the ramp already looks like a slide, why not go all in? Add some twists, turns, and a loop-de-loop. Charge a small fee, and it could become a tourist attraction. “Come ride the MMDA Ramp of Doom!”
Hire Sherpas: If people can climb Everest, they can surely navigate this ramp. Sherpas with ropes and harnesses could assist PWDs in safely making their way down. Plus, it provides employment opportunities!
Camera Angle Reality Show: Since the problem seems to be the camera angle, let’s create a reality show where contestants take photos of various infrastructures to see how ridiculous they can make them look. Winner gets to redesign the next MMDA project!

In conclusion, the MMDA continues to keep us on our toes – or in this case, our wheels – with their unique approach to urban design. While we wait for the promised improvements, let’s hope that future projects consider practicality over optical illusions. Until then, if you see a ramp that looks like a slide, remember: it’s all about the angle.