UP and AFP Team Up: Because Nothing Says ‘Academic Freedom’ Like a Military Parade

By Louis ‘Barok‘ C. Biraogo

IN WHAT can only be described as the most unexpected power couple since ketchup and ice cream, the University of the Philippines (UP) and the Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP) have decided to collaborate in a daring initiative to simultaneously advance national security and education. Yes, you read that correctly. The very institution that has been at odds with the military for decades has now found common ground with the same folks who brought you the art of Red-tagging and campus invasions. It’s like an arranged marriage between a pacifist and a pyromaniac.

The agreement, charmingly titled the “Declaration of Cooperation,” was signed in a ceremony that somehow managed to be both solemn and absurd. On one hand, you had UP Vice President for Academic Affairs Leo Cubillan, who seemed to be channeling his inner statesman, and on the other, AFP Chief Gen. Romeo Brawner Jr., who was likely wondering if this was some elaborate prank orchestrated by student activists. The goal? To foster intellectual growth and innovation, all while strategically aligning resources and expertise between a university that prides itself on academic freedom and a military organization that has a rather creative interpretation of that concept.

But fear not, dear baroks, for this partnership is not without its critics. Members of the UP community were quick to denounce this union, likening it to inviting a fox to guard the henhouse—or in this case, the library. The faculty, students, and staff have expressed their concerns that this collaboration might somehow, just possibly, undermine the very freedoms that UP has defended for over a century. One can hardly blame them for their skepticism, given that the military has a rather robust track record when it comes to “advancing national security” at the expense of civil liberties.

Now, let’s take a moment to appreciate the sheer brilliance of this collaboration. Who better to teach the nuances of strategic studies than an institution known for its black-and-white approach to dissent? And who better to lead community engagement activities than the same military that has perfected the art of peaceful persuasion via helicopter gunships? Truly, the possibilities for joint research projects are endless. Perhaps a groundbreaking study on the effects of tear gas on student activism? Or a comprehensive analysis of the psychological impact of being Red-tagged before breakfast?

Of course, the military has assured everyone that their intentions are purely educational. After all, they’re not interested in censoring the curriculum, just in adding a few “suggestions” here and there—like a guest lecturer on the benefits of martial law, or a workshop on how to conduct a peaceful raid without alarming the neighbors. The possibilities are endless, and no doubt the UP administration is already planning a new degree program in National Security Studies, with a minor in Subtle Intimidation.

But let’s not stop there. If we’re going to embrace this brave new world of academic-military synergy, why not go all in? Let’s have joint faculty meetings where generals offer feedback on syllabi, and professors suggest reading lists for military exercises. Imagine the intellectual cross-pollination! Perhaps we could even have a joint venture to produce a best-selling handbook: “How to Win Friends and Influence People (With Tanks).”

In conclusion, this collaboration is a match made in, well, somewhere. It’s bold, it’s innovative, and it’s sure to generate some fascinating footnotes in the history books. As for the UP community, they might want to consider investing in some earplugs and blindfolds for the inevitable “educational outreach” activities that will soon be gracing their campuses. And to the rest of us? Let’s just sit back, grab some popcorn, and enjoy the show. After all, nothing says “progress” like a university that’s both an incubator of free thought and a well-oiled machine of national security.

Because, really, what could possibly go wrong?