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Is It Love, Money, or Just Good Ol’ Obedience? The Curious Case of Roque and Dela Serna’s Joint Bank Account

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Louis ‘Barok’ Biraogo

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Is It Love, Money, or Just Good Ol’ Obedience? The Curious Case of Roque and Dela Serna’s Joint Bank Account

By Louis ‘Barok’ C Biraogo — September 7, 2024

IN A plotline straight out of a Philippine telenovela—or perhaps more accurately, a Shakespearean comedy—our two unlikely protagonists, former presidential spokesperson Harry Roque and his loyal “alalay” Alberto Rodulfo “AR” Dela Serna, have taken center stage in the drama of the year. Picture this: the House quad-committee, a hall filled with perplexed lawmakers, and at the heart of it all, a joint bank account as mysterious as the plot twist nobody saw coming.

You know, the kind of financial setup that lawmakers like Rep. Romeo Acop assured us usually only exists between couples bound by either love or blood. Acop, the Socratic philosopher in this drama, pointed out with wide-eyed disbelief, “This is something we see between husband and wife, or parent and child.” But alas, our dynamic duo insists there’s nothing unusual here. A man with a basic salary of ₱20,000 simply having full access to ₱3 million of someone else’s money? Oh, nothing to see here, folks. Just two bros sharing a joint account like they’re picking out toppings for their pizza. What could be more wholesome?

Perhaps Dela Serna and Roque have tapped into an alternative financial philosophy—an avant-garde relationship model that history has failed to adequately explore. Let us speculate, with the help of some famous historical figures, on what might really be going on here.

1. The “Plato and Aristotle” Dynamic: A Philosophical Romance

Just as Plato mentored Aristotle, teaching him the high ideals of philosophical thought, perhaps Roque is simply helping his protégé Dela Serna explore the complex mysteries of joint financial management. It’s not about money—it’s about the pursuit of wisdom! Aristotle once said, “The more you know, the more you realize you don’t know.” Clearly, Dela Serna knows nothing about where this money comes from, which means he’s practically a modern-day philosopher!

2. The “Sherlock and Watson” Partnership: Solving the Mystery of the Missing Financial Ethics

Maybe Roque and Dela Serna are playing out the ultimate detective story. Like Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson, they could be investigating complex international financial conspiracies, and what better cover than a joint bank account? When questioned about these “foreign trips” to glamorous places like Hong Kong and Japan, Dela Serna may have thought, “Well, if Sir Harry asks, who am I to deny a mystery-solving adventure?”

3. The “Romeo and Juliet” Tragedy (Without the Tragedy)

Of course, we can’t ignore the possibility of a deep, star-crossed bond between Roque and Dela Serna. If Acop thinks this looks like something reserved for couples, perhaps we should all brace ourselves for a balcony scene where Roque cries, “O AR, AR, wherefore art thou my financial beneficiary?” And Dela Serna, innocent and wide-eyed, would respond, “I don’t meddle with your millions, Sir Harry.” It’s a love story for the ages—minus the poison (we hope).

The Million-Peso Question:  Why This Joint Account Makes No Sense

  1. Trust Exercise – Maybe Roque is simply testing Dela Serna’s integrity. Can you trust someone with a joint account if they don’t even contribute to it? Forget trust falls—this is the real test of loyalty.
  2. Apprenticeship in Financial Wizardry – Clearly, this is all part of a long-term training program where Roque teaches Dela Serna the art of financial maneuvering without lifting a finger. Who needs Hogwarts when you can have Harry Roque, right?
  3. Charity in Disguise – Could it be that Roque’s ₱3 million gift was just an act of altruism? After all, isn’t charity supposed to be anonymous? If Dela Serna doesn’t know why he’s getting this money, isn’t that the purest form of giving?

Platonic Recommendations:

  1. For Roque – We recommend that Sir Harry formalize his mentorship program. He could start the Roque Academy of Financial Favors, where students like Dela Serna learn the invaluable skills of non-contribution and magical bank account access. Application requirements? Just loyalty and the ability to carry luggage on multiple foreign trips.
  2. For the Other Media-Savvy Dela Sernas – Let’s be real—this family name is too well-known in showbiz to waste on politics alone. The media and showbiz Dela Sernas should use this golden opportunity to pitch a reality TV show: “Banking with Harry: Love, Loyalty, and Large Deposits.” It’s bound to be a hit, and it’ll clear up all this nonsense about suspicious financial arrangements.
  3. For Lawmakers – Congress should really consider passing the “No-Questions-Asked Joint Account Law,” making it clear that if you have a joint account with someone you once worked for, nobody can question it. Think of the time saved at hearings! You could focus on more pressing matters, like why rich politicians keep forgetting they have foreign mansions.

So, will Congress actually pass the “No-Questions-Asked Joint Account Law?”  In conclusion, as we stand in awe of this Roque-Dela Serna financial saga, we should remember the words of another famous historical figure, Marie Antoinette: “Let them have access to the joint account!”  After all, if even a queen can’t be questioned about her finances, what hope do we have for the rest of us?

Louis ‘Barok‘ C. Biraogo

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