Nepotism Jackpot: How Royina Garma Turned PCSO Into a Family Fortune

By Louis ‘Barok’ C Biraogo – September 29, 2024

WHY bother with resumes when you’ve got family photos? Royina Garma has redefined public service at the Philippine Charity Sweepstakes Office (PCSO), turning it into a genetic lottery where the only qualification that matters is sharing her last name—or at least attending the same reunions.

Family Ties or Legal Violations? Garma’s PCSO Hiring Practices

At the heart of this carnival is the allegation that Garma ran the PCSO like a family business, hiring cousins, in-laws, and even her daughter as confidential agents, IT consultants, and secretaries. When asked if hiring her nearest and dearest violated any ethical standards, Garma confidently replied, “Trust and confidence lang po!” Ah yes, because when handling millions of pesos of government money, what could be more reassuring than knowing your IT consultant shares your DNA?

Of course, the Administrative Code frowns upon this sort of family fun. The code, with its annoyingly specific language, defines nepotism as appointing relatives within the third degree. But Garma, never one to be bogged down by such legal minutiae, reminds us that some positions—like those of confidential agents—are exempt! Her daughter, despite lacking any criminal justice degree, was apparently brilliant in high school communication. And if you can write school articles, surely running government lotteries is the next logical step, right?

If Garma’s arguments feel like they were hastily pulled from the back of a cereal box, the quad committee investigating her agrees. The Code of Conduct and Ethical Standards for Public Officials reminds us that “undue favors” for relatives are prohibited—unless, of course, your daughter is both brilliant and dealing with a cocktail of disorders. In which case, go right ahead.

The Political Misdeeds: Small Town Lottery, Big-Time Nepotism

Garma’s passion for nepotism didn’t stop at employment. No, she turned her attentions to founding the STL Party-list, conveniently named in homage to the PCSO’s “Small Town Lottery.” Coincidence? Garma assures us it’s all just a big misunderstanding. Never mind that her cousin Hector Marzan was the second nominee and that the first nominee was the wife of a cop under her command at PCSO. Clearly, it’s all just one big happy coincidence that Garma’s family tree keeps sprouting in government offices.

Garma denies funneling PCSO money into her STL Party-list. But really, what better way to secure that “grassroots” support than through the grassroots-based Small Town Lottery? After all, nothing screams “people’s party” quite like leveraging a government-run lottery.

Drug War, Death Squads, and Drama: The Garma Extravaganza

And then there’s the fun part: Garma’s alleged involvement in Rodrigo Duterte’s notorious drug war and Davao Death Squad. Sure, whistleblower Arturo Lascañas may have fingered her as part of the infamous squad, and yes, her role as Cebu police chief during the drug war led to an impressive number of deaths. But let’s not nitpick here. After all, isn’t it refreshing to see someone who approaches public office with such… determination? If the allegations are true, Garma not only managed to revolutionize government nepotism, but also helped bring a whole new meaning to the phrase “cleanup crew.”

Not satisfied with her accomplishments, Garma is now linked to the assassination of PCSO board secretary Wesley Barayuga. Nothing says “thank you for your service” quite like ordering a hit on the guy threatening to expose corruption at your agency. Unfortunately for Barayuga, being willing to testify against corruption didn’t come with bulletproof protection.

Family Values or Family Discounts?

Of course, Garma’s relatives in government are just there to help out. After all, why hire a stranger when you can hire your cousin’s wife? Garma’s defense of family hiring is built on the rock-solid argument that you simply can’t trust anyone who hasn’t joined you on a sweaty, sun-baked Bisita Iglesia pilgrimage, dodging elbows and incense smoke in the name of piety. Is there a law against it? Sure, technically. But laws, like distant cousins, are often ignored.

Her most heartfelt defense, though, is the hiring of her daughter, diagnosed with dyslexia, ADHD, and bipolar disorder. While we sympathize with her struggles, the requirement for confidential agents includes law enforcement experience, which her daughter lacks. No worries—according to Garma, she’s a communication prodigy! Never mind the fact that the nearest she’s come to law enforcement is navigating high school drama.

Verdict: A Sweep of Ethical Standards

So, is Royina Garma guilty of nepotism, corruption, and maybe even a dash of murder? Well, in a country where the law seems to be more of a “suggestion,” Garma’s behavior looks more like a winning sweepstakes ticket for her relatives than a serious breach of ethical conduct. From turning the PCSO into a family enterprise to cozying up to the Duterte regime, Garma has shown that when it comes to public service, it’s all about who you know—and if you don’t know anyone, just hire a relative.

Satirical Recommendations

For Garma: Since you’ve already hired half of your family, why not go all the way? Declare the PCSO as a family-owned franchise. At least then it’ll be clear that public service is a family business.
For Garma’s Relatives: Keep up the good work! Remember, the key to a long and illustrious government career is to be related to someone important. Skills are optional.
For STL Party-list: Change your acronym to something more subtle. Maybe “Samahan ng Talagang Legit” would make people think you’re less of a PCSO spin-off and more of an actual political group.
For the House of Representatives: Stop wasting time on ethics investigations. If nepotism is the backbone of government hiring, you might as well legalize it and rename the Administrative Code to “Guidelines for Familial Government Appointments.”

After all, in Garma’s universe, public service isn’t about serving the people—it’s about serving dinner to your cousins on the government’s tab. And if that’s not public service, what is?