The Battle for Manila: Can a Doctor Cure Isko’s 86% Lead?

By Louis ‘Barok’ C Biraogo — October 6, 2024

MANILA: where history, traffic, and political circus all collide in an endless loop of drama and diesel fumes. As 2025 looms, the stage is set for a rematch between former movie star-turned-Mayor-turned-could-have-been-president Isko Moreno, and his one-time ally, actual doctor and current Mayor, Dr. Honey Lacuna. Think of it as a political soap opera, complete with melodramatic plot twists, questionable loyalties, and a showdown that could make the Manila Bay reclamation look like child’s play. Will Isko charm his way back into City Hall with an approval rating that could make even traffic disappear? Or will Honey slice through the political noise with a scalpel as sharp as her determination to keep the city under her care?

Isko Moreno: Man of the People… And Maybe the Mayor’s Office Again

Isko Moreno, once a humble scavenger-turned-actor-turned-politician, seems to have a knack for reinventing himself as often as a celebrity in mid-life crisis. His rise from city councilor to vice mayor, and eventually to the man who—through sheer political gymnastics—ousted Joseph “Erap” Estrada, is nothing short of legendary. After an ambitious yet ill-fated attempt at the presidency in 2022 (where his campaign slogans included “Believe in my results!” and “I’m definitely better than Bongbong”), Isko gracefully bowed out of the race for higher office. Of course, “gracefully” in this case involved solemn promises to his then-second-in-command Honey Lacuna that he would never again darken the doorstep of City Hall if the presidential gods didn’t smile upon him.

Fast forward to 2024, and the aforementioned gods were apparently busy with other things—like ensuring box-office success for yet another superhero sequel—because Isko lost. Yet, lo and behold, after a spiritual retreat, a few cryptic social media posts about destiny, and a chorus of fans chanting, “Please come back, Yorme!” (because who doesn’t respond to chants?), Isko is now reconsidering his promise like someone rethinking their New Year’s resolution on January 2.

One could argue that Isko’s word is like Manila’s weather—constantly changing and best left unplanned. Of course, his supporters—who make up a cool 86% of voters according to OCTA Research—insist that this is simply destiny. “Who needs promises when you have good looks and a photogenic past?” they muse. After all, who can resist Isko’s unique brand of populism, delivered with a smile that says, “I know I broke my promise, but look how charming I am while doing it!”

Honey Lacuna: The Good Doctor Caught in a Soap Opera

Meanwhile, Dr. Honey Lacuna, who took over Manila’s top job in 2022, finds herself in the unenviable position of facing off against her former mentor and the political force that is Isko Moreno. A physician by training and a politician by birthright (thanks to her father, former Vice Mayor Danny Lacuna), Honey was content to inherit the throne when Isko moved on to his presidential ambitions. A woman of few words but many acts of service, Lacuna has spent her time as mayor working on health initiatives, social welfare programs, and ensuring that the city’s budget wasn’t completely blown on more photogenic projects like flower boxes and neon-lit pedestrian bridges.

But where Isko has flash and charisma, Honey has substance and follow-through. As Manila’s first female mayor, she hasn’t had the luxury of breaking promises—or making ones she didn’t intend to keep. If her supporters (all 8% of them) are to be believed, Honey is the steady hand Manila needs, the calm after the storm of Moreno’s populist reign. It’s just that in the circus of Manila politics, calm and steady are often mistaken for boring, which may explain her poll numbers that currently reside somewhere between tragic and terminal.

Who Will Prevail? A Clash of Charm and Competence

On one hand, we have Isko Moreno, a man who could sell a rainy day to a beach resort. His supporters speak of his legacy: the beautified parks, the freshly paved streets, the sheer photogenic-ness of it all. They argue that with his movie star charm and undeniable crowd appeal, Isko is the man to lead Manila into the future—never mind that this “future” is suspiciously similar to the past.

On the other hand, Honey Lacuna’s supporters point to her quiet competence, her medical background, and her refusal to play the game of political theatrics. “Do we really need more selfies, or do we need someone who will quietly get the job done?” they ask. Unfortunately for them, quiet competence doesn’t seem to trend on Twitter quite like Moreno’s latest TikTok post, where he’s surrounded by adoring crowds chanting for his comeback like he’s Manila’s very own political boy band.

Legal Drama: The Case of the Broken Promise

Ah, the promise—a quaint notion in the world of Philippine politics. Moreno’s solemn vow to Lacuna not to run for mayor again was about as binding as a celebrity marriage. But should Lacuna feel betrayed? After all, as political observers will tell you, promises in Manila politics are often less like contracts and more like well-intentioned suggestions. Perhaps Lacuna should have known better, but in her defense, few people expect their mentor to moonwalk back into their job after publicly bowing out.

If we’re to take this to court, we could cite the time-honored Philippine ethical standards and the Supreme Court’s decision in Turncoat vs. Everybody, which holds that political promises are only as binding as the nearest microphone.

Satirical Recommendations

For Isko Moreno: Embrace your true calling—Instagram influencer. Your talent for inspiring hashtags and leading cheering crowds may be better suited for a career in social media rather than public service. Remember, there are fewer promises to break when you’re just selling beauty products.

For Honey Lacuna: Don’t worry about that 8%. That’s how every underdog story begins, right? Just keep pushing your policies, healing the sick, and if all else fails, maybe stage a viral TikTok dance with some patients.

For the Manileños: Enjoy the show! You’ve got front-row seats to a political spectacle where promises are optional, polls are skewed, and the only thing that truly matters is how well your candidate poses for photos.

In the end, whether Isko flashes his winning smile back into City Hall or Dr. Lacuna prescribes a new direction for Manila, one thing is as certain as a viral TikTok: politics in this city is a game of charm, wit, and an uncanny ability to forget what was promised yesterday. Because in the world of Manila elections, it’s not just about what you say—it’s about how fast you can scroll past the backlash.