Forget Solomon’s Temple, Quiboloy Wants Solomon’s Harem—and PNP Isn’t Convinced

By Louis ‘Barok‘ C. Biraogo — October 25, 2024

IN A groundbreaking blend of ambition and holy imagination, the Philippine National Police (PNP) has revealed that Apollo Quiboloy, head of the Kingdom of Jesus Christ, has allegedly set his sights on a love life of truly biblical scale. According to the PNP, Quiboloy isn’t just dabbling in run-of-the-mill cult excess; he’s reportedly gunning for King Solomon’s record-breaking tally of 700 wives and 300 concubines. That’s right, folks—when Quiboloy prays to “walk in Solomon’s path,” he means the whole path. Move over, Casanova—there’s a new divine romantic in town.

Let’s be fair, King Solomon himself was no slouch in the wife-and-concubine department. As the Old Testament reminds us, Solomon racked up a wife tally most ancient kings could only dream of, sprinkling in a few concubines for good measure. And why? Perhaps it was a quest for wisdom, perhaps an attempt to consolidate regional alliances, or perhaps he just couldn’t resist. But Solomon, at least, had a bit of an excuse: he was the king of a grand kingdom with a temple to build and prophets to impress. Quiboloy, on the other hand, is the self-proclaimed “appointed son of God” with aspirations that seem to be growing faster than his legal team can manage.

According to Colonel Hansel Marantan of the Davao City Police, Quiboloy has an alleged list of victims numbering in the hundreds, all neatly falling into line as he reached for the Solomon crown. “It’s not just about one or two,” Marantan told the Senate panel. “He was building something grand here, something unprecedented. I mean, 700 wives – that’s a lofty goal by any metric.” One can only imagine the logic going through Quiboloy’s mind: if Solomon could break hearts and divine commandments simultaneously, why not him? Who’s to say that he’s not just a little ‘Old Testament’ in his approach?

In fact, the PNP suggests that Quiboloy’s alleged abuses – and there are plenty, from exploitation to intimidation via his so-called “Angels of Death” – might have all stemmed from his desire to make a little bit of “biblical history.” Now, there is no record of Solomon using death threats to maintain his harem, but that’s where our modern King wannabe has put his own spin on things. Some might say that his alleged methods – fear, manipulation, and relentless recruitment – give “divine inspiration” a whole new twist.

But let’s not stop here. The police say Quiboloy himself preached about Solomon’s famous romantic exploits. Imagine the sermons: “Beloved, we’re just getting started – 700 wives are but a prayer away!” Now, if he ever reaches that goal, let’s hope he remembers what happened to Solomon when he did: a biblical smackdown from on high. The Good Book doesn’t mince words: Solomon’s infatuations led to his ruin. Turns out, Jehovah was not impressed by Solomon’s wandering eye – he might be equally unimpressed with Quiboloy’s “inner pastorals” initiative.

In fact, Quiboloy could do well to remember that Solomon, despite his grand ambitions, met a rather unhappy fate. Wisdom can’t be bought, earned, or – as Solomon learned – romantically “acquired.” Now, Quiboloy may have amassed some impressive wealth, even set himself up as a quasi-king, but he seems to have missed the moral of Solomon’s story. Perhaps he thinks he’s rewriting scripture with a modern twist: if Solomon could flirt with idolatry and divine wrath, why can’t he build his own “new kingdom” on those same, shaky foundations?

So, if this trial ever winds down, maybe Quiboloy could take a few pointers:

On Wisdom: Solomon had some, but even he lost his way. Quiboloy might consider that perhaps his path to divinity lies not in amassing wives, concubines, or court cases, but in a little humility.
To the KOJC Women: Take a page from the Queen of Sheba. She saw Solomon for what he was and left before things got messy. Sometimes the best wisdom is knowing when to say goodbye.
For the Philippine Senate: Keep a “wise Solomon” close, but keep an eye on the wannabe “Solomons.” Today’s kings might not build temples, but they sure know how to build legal defenses.
To the Filipino People: May the good citizens of the Philippines remember that not all who quote scripture are prophets, and not every “Solomon” has wisdom.

So, a little advice for Quiboloy: perhaps shift focus from accumulating “heavenly harems” to some earthly wisdom. Fewer wives, fewer lawsuits, and maybe—just maybe—a moment of introspection. After all, there’s no rush; eternity’s a long time to work on self-awareness.