IN A groundbreaking discovery that has left the nation scratching its head, Senator Imee Marcos has bravely stepped forward to ask the most burning question of the decade: “Where in the world is PHP132 billion in flood control funds?” Yes, while the Bicol region is once again underwater, it seems the billions earmarked to prevent precisely this situation have managed to stay quite dry.
The senator’s crusade for transparency has revealed that flood control projects have become, shall we say, a rather creative endeavor. Funds meant for dams, dikes, and drainage systems appear to have gone missing in action—unless you count the elaborate labyrinths of government reports and contractors’ favorite activity, “untraceable spending.”
And who’s behind this magic trick of disappearing pesos? Enter the Department of Public Works and Highways (DPWH), our friendly neighborhood agency that, in a shocking twist, seems to have forgotten where it put the money. According to Chairman Elizaldy Co, all these billions aren’t even real, and any money that did trickle in was used “very wisely.” The senator might be forgiven for thinking she was hallucinating the floodwaters in Bicol, which, on any map drawn by the DPWH, are likely marked as “fiscally sound.”
Meanwhile, residents of the Bicol region are having their own brush with transparency—like watching floodwaters creep up to their front doors. They’d love to be assured that some of the PHP132 billion has gone toward lifejackets, rubber boats, or maybe even sandbags, but apparently, the funds are too busy posing for invisible construction projects.
And while we’re at it, could someone explain the DPWH’s latest high-tech innovation, the “Waiting for Approval” loophole? It’s simple: just submit your project for funding and watch as it circles the bureaucratic drain. It’s flood control as performance art—a long-running show where the funds always take a bow but never quite make it to the stage.
But Senator Marcos isn’t done. She’s calling for an independent audit, a freedom-of-information request, and maybe even a séance to summon these lost billions. Her recommendation? A national call to arms for anyone who has the audacity to ask what PHP132 billion actually does.
If she succeeds, we might even get to see a new era of accountability. If not, well—at least Bicol will always have waterfront views. And in the meantime, the DPWH can continue its mission to break new ground—literally and figuratively—as the nation’s leading expert in “flood control from afar.”
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KWEBA ni BAROK 
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