Impeachment Bells, Marcos Spells: Sara’s Yuletide Revenge

By Louis ‘Barok‘ C. Biraogo — December 5, 2024

IN A yuletide announcement that would make Ebenezer Scrooge blush with inadequacy, Vice President Sara Duterte redefined the season’s message from ‘peace on Earth’ to ‘payback time.’ Speaking to beneficiaries in Ifugao, she quipped, ‘Forgiveness is personal, and I choose vengeance,’ injecting the holiday spirit with a dose of premeditated drama that feels more telenovela than nativity story.

A Christmas Grudge Story

Duterte’s stance on forgiveness is a gift that keeps on giving—to her critics. While advising Filipinos to embrace the spirit of the season, she stressed that her own capacity for forgiveness stops short of everyone who has ever crossed her. This includes, presumably, those who dared to question the OVP’s Thanksgiving programs, the two impeachment complaints filed against her, and perhaps the guy who cut her off in traffic.

From a theological perspective, Duterte’s comments offer a modern twist on Christian doctrine: love thy neighbor, but only if they haven’t filed legal paperwork against you. Sociologists could argue she’s pioneering a new holiday tradition—Festivus-style airing of grievances—while historians might wonder if this marks the first time “grudge-holding” has been an official vice-presidential policy.

Impeachment as a Holiday Tradition

The impeachment complaints filed against Duterte add a festive legal tinsel to the political season. In true Duterte fashion, she welcomed these complaints with the enthusiasm of someone inviting critics to a roast—where she’s holding the spit. Dismissing the accusations as a “waste of government money,” she suggested lawmakers might as well burn cash while singing Jingle Bells.

Her strategy to fight these complaints could rival any Hallmark holiday plot: a plucky heroine armed with sharp words, legal maneuvering, and public relations wizardry must fend off villains determined to ruin her Christmas. Unfortunately, her defense playbook lacks the charming redemption arc we usually expect—think more “Die Hard” than “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

Marcos vs. Duterte: A Political Christmas Feud

Duterte has taken her feud with President Marcos to an extraordinary level, questioning his unfulfilled promises, including that ill-fated pledge to reduce rice prices to P20 per kilo. In political terms, this makes their relationship a holiday version of Home Alone: Marcos as the bumbling Kevin McCallister and Duterte as every trap-setting nemesis.

While most Christmas disputes involve light displays or secret Santa politics, Duterte and Marcos have escalated theirs to public spats and expletive-laden press conferences. If holiday cheer existed between them, it drowned somewhere in the rice paddies of broken campaign promises.

Sara’s Holiday Strategy: All Grudge, No Cheer

If Duterte were to design a strategy to fight impeachment complaints and boost her image, she might try:

The Grinch Gambit: Declare herself a misunderstood anti-hero whose “no-forgiveness” policy is a tough-love strategy for national discipline.
Holiday Amnesia: Distract the public by sponsoring a nationwide “12 Days of Christmas” program featuring free rice and karaoke competitions.
Carol of Litigation: File counter-complaints against her critics with enough legal jargon to make a Supreme Court justice weep.

Recommendations for the Season

For Duterte: Host a forgiveness workshop, complete with seasonal punch, where she teaches grudges as a power move. Bonus: sell tickets.

For Christmas celebrants: Remember, forgiveness is “optional.” Feel free to replace that family reconciliation dinner with a spicy roast—of grievances.

For Duterte’s political opponents: Gift her a lifetime supply of tissue boxes—both for the tears of her critics and the nosebleeds her legalese causes.

For Filipinos: Treat the drama like your favorite teleserye. Nothing says Christmas like a popcorn-fueled impeachment hearing under twinkling lights.

Conclusion

Sara Duterte has reinvented Christmas as a season not of peace and goodwill, but of politically charged potlucks where grudges are the main course. Why settle for figgy pudding when you can serve subpoenas and impeachment complaints under the tree? It’s a yuletide tradition only a Duterte could make merrier—or messier.