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KWEBA ni BAROK

JUNTA FEELERS IN LACSON’S INBOX, P100-BILLION KICKBACKS IN THE BUDGET, AND IMEE SPILLING TEA HOTTER THAN MAYON LAVA

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Louis ‘Barok’ Biraogo

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JUNTA FEELERS IN LACSON’S INBOX, P100-BILLION KICKBACKS IN THE BUDGET, AND IMEE SPILLING TEA HOTTER THAN MAYON LAVA
Philippine politics is canceled. Please wait for the reboot in 2028… or next month, who knows anymore.

By Louis ‘Barok‘ C. Biraogo — November 25, 2025

IS THERE Really a “Coordinated, Orchestrated, and Calibrated” Plot to Oust BBM, or Is This Just Another Episode of Pamilya Marcos: The Teleserye from Hell?

Mga ka-kweba, welcome back to the cave. The air is thick with the smell of cordite and corruption, and the plot — literal and figurative — is thicker than adobo sauce. Senator Ping Lacson just lit the fuse: a “coordinated, orchestrated, and calibrated” conspiracy to topple the Marcos regime. Let’s tear this monster apart, limb by limb, before it tears the country apart.

1. The Suspiciously Perfect Storm: Coincidence or Coup Playbook on Steroids?

Timeline of doom, for your viewing pleasure:

  • Zaldy Co drops his three-part YouTube “confession” accusing BBM of pocketing P56 billion in kickbacks.
  • Days later, 600,000 INC members flood the streets.
  • Mid-rally, Imee Marcos grabs the mic and screams “My brother microdoses cocaine!”
  • Simultaneously, retired generals slide into Lacson’s DMs: “Sir, junta tayo?”

That, mga ka-kweba, is either the most unlucky week in presidential history… or someone has a very expensive storyboard writer.

From EDSA to EAT BULAGA: the revolution will be catered.

2. Cast of Characters: Who’s Playing Whom in This Circus of Chaos?

  • Zaldy Co – The fugitive party-list rep turned Netflix whistleblower. Credibility rating: somewhere between “weather forecast” and “DDS vlogger.”
  • Imee “Super Manang” Marcos – From supportive ate to drug-accusing Cain in one viral speech. A house divided against itself… now with live studio audience.
  • Retired Generals Anonymous – Texting Lacson like desperate exes: “Pwede ba civilian-military junta? Coffee muna?”
  • INC Leadership – Accidentally hosts the biggest anti-Marcos rally since EDSA, then panics and kicks out the “BBM Resign” clowns. Oops.

3. Teleserye Rating: 10/10 Drama, 2/10 Evidence

This is peak Filipino political soap opera: betrayal, drugs, corruption, family feud, shadowy junta — all we’re missing is a ghost and a love child.
But strip away the cinematic timing and what do we have?

  • Zero documents
  • Zero active-duty generals on board
  • One sister having a public meltdown
  • One disgraced congressman hiding abroad

Whispers in the barracks and shouts in the rally? Yes.
A functioning coup machine? Pare o mare, we can’t even coordinate LRT schedules.

4. Next Episode Spoilers: What the Plotters Will Try (And Probably Fail At)

Coming soon to a newsfeed near you:

  • “Part 4” of Zaldy Co’s saga (now with receipts… or maybe just more tears)
  • Bigger rallies, now with free t-shirts and packed lunch
  • Someone leaks a “hair follicle drug test” that conveniently disappears
  • Another retired general “breaks silence” on late-night TV
  • Congress suddenly discovers urgency and schedules 47 investigations

Spoiler alert: none of it works without an active three-star general waving the flag. And right now, the AFP is too busy getting pay raises to revolt.

5. Actual Chance of a Coup: Lower Than BBM’s Approval Rating After Imee’s Speech

Real talk: 20–30% at most.
Why it probably flops:

  • No military defection (yet)
  • Opposition can’t even agree on lunch, let alone a transition council
  • The public is angry… but not “sleep in the streets for weeks” angry

This is a dangerous game of chess where the pawns are beginning to question their moves — but the king still has most of the pieces.

6. If This Idiot Plot Succeeds: Welcome to Banana Republic 2.0

  • Stock market does the Harlem Shake (downward)
  • Peso hits 70:1, maybe 80:1 if Imee speaks again
  • Tourists cancel, investors flee, your tita’s remittance buys less adobo
  • Region watches in horror as the Philippines becomes the cautionary tale in every ASEAN meeting

7. Dear President BBM: How to Kill This Zombie Plot Before It Eats Manila

Stop denying, start doing:

  1. Open the books. Full, brutal, third-party audit of the P100B insertions — live-stream it if you have to.
  2. Throw someone under the bus (preferably someone not named Marcos or Romualdez).
  3. Give the soldiers a fat bonus and a public hug. Works every time.
  4. Invite INC and the bishops for merienda — charm offensive, not tear gas offensive.
  5. Tell Imee: “Manang, therapy is free under PhilHealth now.”

Do this in the next 72 hours and the plot dies of embarrassment.

8. Barok’s Final Prescription (Because Somebody Has to Be the Adult)

  • Government: Transparency or bust.
  • Opposition: Impeach if you have the numbers. Coup if you want to lose forever.
  • Military: Stay in the barracks. Your oath isn’t written in pencil.
  • Public: Rage responsibly. Burn effigies, not the Constitution.

From the depths of the kweba, this is Barok, signing off with a warning:

We’ve survived worse clowns, worse scandals, worse family reunions.
But if we let this teleserye end with tanks on the streets, we deserve the sequel nobody wants.

Mabuhay ang Pilipinas — preferably with elections, not explosions.

Source:

Louis ‘Barok’ C Biraogo

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