House of Hypocrites Suspends Barzaga for Posting Thighs, Cash, and the One Thing They Fear Most: The Truth

Where obscene thighs get 60 days but obscene pork barrels get standing ovations.

By Louis ‘Barok‘ C. Biraogo – December 2, 2025

YESTERDAY the Philippine House of Representatives proved, once again, that nothing terrifies a supermajority more than a congressman with a spicy Facebook feed and the audacity to bite the hand that signs the pork checks (Inquirer, 2 Dec. 2025).

The Kangaroo Court Opens Its Christmas Show Trial

Picture it: a solemn reading of the Ethics Committee report by a party-list rep who looked like he was auditioning for a teleserye funeral scene. Tears were fake, outrage was manufactured, and the script approval came straight from the Office of the Speaker. The verdict? Guilty of having too much fun and too little loyalty.

***“They measured my morals in inches of thigh—yet measure their pork in kilometers of runway.”***

Crime #1: The Scandalous Thigh Around the Neck

Apparently a grown woman consensually wrapping her legs around a congressman’s head is now a grave threat to the Republic. The House Committee on Ethics and Privileges has officially rebranded itself the National Vice Squad & Convent of Perpetual Outrage. Move over, MTRCB — Congress is now rating politicians’ bedroom selfies.

Crime #2: Flashing Cash Like a Rapper (The Horror!)

Barzaga posted photos with stacks of peso bills. The same chamber that can’t explain where the ₱125-billion confidential funds went is suddenly clutching pearls over a few bundles of hundreds. This isn’t ethics — it’s envy with a gavel.

Crime #3: Joking About Burning the Batasan (After Evacuating Everyone, Relax)

He said protesters shouldn’t torch the building until employees and documents are safe. The House read that as “inciting to sedition.” Translation: dark humor is only allowed when the President cracks jokes about shooting drug addicts.

Crime #4: Storming an Office with… Ambition?

Barzaga barged into the Majority Leader’s room, told everyone to sit down, and pitched his speakership platform. In any normal legislature that’s called campaigning. Here it’s “disorderly behavior” because God forbid someone shows testosterone in a building full of eunuchs.

The Real Indictment Nobody Dared to Read Aloud

The unstated charge that actually got him suspended:

Count 1: Leaving the National Unity Party (NUP) after being accused of collecting signatures to oust Speaker Martin Romualdez.
Count 2: Criticizing the administration on social media without prior approval from Lakas-CMD.
Count 3: Existing while insufficiently subservient.”

Everything else — the thighs, the cash, the jokes — was just the gift wrapping on a naked political assassination.

The Legal Laundering of a Political Hit Job

They dressed it up in two magic provisions:

Section 4(c) of Republic Act No. 6713 (Code of Conduct and Ethical Standards for Public Officials and Employees) – the beloved catch-all “good morals” clause now stretched to cover private Facebook accounts.
Section 141(a), Rule XX of the Rules of the House of Representatives – the congressional equivalent of “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed… now get out for 60 days.”

The Supreme Court’s ancient blessing in Osmeña v. Pendatun (1960) means the Court will almost certainly shrug and say “political question.” Translation: the majority can crucify the minority and the judiciary will bring the nails.

The 249–5: The Parliamentary Firing Squad Fires in Perfect Unison

Two hundred forty-nine hands shot up faster than you can say “envelope.” Five brave souls voted no. Eleven abstained — the political version of pretending to be on a very important phone call during the collection plate.

Prescription from the Underground

To Kiko Barzaga:

Wear the suspension like a medal. Post every single day you’re suspended. Caption it “Day 12 of my paid vacation courtesy of Speaker Snowflakes.” File sixty retaliatory ethics complaints — one for every congressman who ever posted a shirtless mirror selfie or a “happy birthday to my queen” (who is definitely not the wife). And yes, file that glorious, doomed Rule 65 petition under grave abuse of discretion. Discovery will be delicious.

To the Filipino People:

Next time any of these 249 moral guardians lectures you about “decorum,” remind them that the real obscenity is a House that polices thighs but not thievery.

To the House of Representatives:

Congratulations. You just installed TikTok content moderators in the Ethics Committee. Next session, please debate a bill requiring chastity belts for all members’ phones.

Because nothing says “mature legislature” like suspending a colleague for having a personality.

Yours in glorious contempt,

–Barok